Role Playing??

November 11, 2012


Assalamualaikum.. Hey, how are you guys doing? I don't remember when exactly the last time i wrote something here. Mind you, i didn't have trouble breathing at all not that i od'ed on writing along this missing period.. I just went into silent mode for a while. It's not that I didn't miss writing. I just didn't have much time to do so.

Alhamdulillah and alhamdulillah.. There's no endless gratitude indebted in my heart towards my creator, ALLAH SWT for ever cherishing me with the love of my life, Ammar Abd Khalil. We got married alhamdulillah last February the 5th. He also given me yet another present. I'm now 8 moths pregnant. I'll be delivering my bundle of joy insyaAllah next December. I really can't wait to meet my baby..

i have been married for 9 months now. as i enrolled this journey, i learn so much on my new roles, a housewife, a daughter in-law and a future mother. i hope, whatever role i'm trying to adapt i'll be the best i can. ameen..

i'll be writing more next time. until then, goodbye.


HINGGA KE AKHIRNYA..

January 20, 2012

APAKAH TERLARANG BERCINTA SEBELUM BERKAHWIN?

January 7, 2012

Berciuman dan berpelukan cinta berahi antara pasangan di tepi jalan ataupun di khalayak ramai adalah perkara biasa di dunia Barat. Hidup bagaikan suami isteri tanpa kahwin adalah fenomena yang tidak asing. Sehingga dalam banyak jemputan, dijemput bersama ‘spouses and partners’.

Memiliki anak tanpa perkahwinan bukanlah sesuatu yang ganjil. Sekalipun ini semua bukanlah budaya asal masyarakat Barat, tetapi trend hidup moden yang disuburkan oleh pelbagai faktor telah meruntuhkan banyak nilai-nilai tradisi yang pernah ada dalam masyarakat mereka dahulu. Ini termasuklah faktor eksploitasi naluri cinta dan seks oleh para pemodal; penerbit majalah, filem, ubat dan pelbagai lagi.

Apakah cinta itu seks? Apakah seks itu cinta? Perkataan cinta agak abstract. Ia boleh dipadankan kepada banyak perkara; cinta Allah, cinta keluarga, cinta negara, cinta seni dan selainnya. Cinta ertinya kasih, sayang dan ingin bersama. Dalam konteks lelaki dan wanita tentulah antara manifestasi cinta itu hubungan seks. Walaupun bukan semua yang melakukan seks itu bercinta, tapi seks itu utama dalam cinta pasangan. Maka ahli fekah pun mentakrifkan nikah itu sebagai akad yang menghalalkan persetubuhan. Suami yang tidak mampu melakukan seks boleh dipisahkan perkahwinan. Seks tidak keji, bahkan ia mendapat pahala jika mengikut peraturannya.



Cinta pasangan mendambakan seks; itu benar. Persoalannya; keinginan untuk melakukan seks semasa bila? Jika mengidamnya sebelum kahwin, itu salah. Jika mengidamnya selepas kahwin, itu pahala. Cinta atau kasih, bercinta atau berkasih sayang antara lelaki dan wanita yang ingin hidup bersama, itu normal. Cuma yang rumit, bagaimana mengawal dan menguruskan cinta.

Cinta dalam sejarahnya telah memeriahkan banyak kehidupan. Melahirkan banyak ungkapan indah puisi dan lagu. Ungkapan cinta dipetik dari zaman ke zaman. Ia dikongsi oleh hampir kesemua insan melainkan yang kontang fitrahnya. Dari Qais sehingga ke Celine Dion; ungkapan indah cinta antara lelaki dan wanita diulang-ulang oleh manusia. Ia sejagat. Ramai yang dah tua yang mengharamkan cinta untuk generasi muda hari, mereka pun pernah bercinta zaman mudanya.

Anti-Cinta
Melihat kerosakan masyarakat, maka ada yang ‘kuat agamanya’ menyalahkan cinta. Lantas, jatuh cinta kepada seseorang yang boleh dikahwini dianggap bagaikan satu dosa. Pasti jika seseorang yang kuat agamanya jatuh cinta, atau berbicara tentang cintanya itu dianggap sebagai sesuatu yang pelik dan telah hilang kekuatan iman.

Maka tidak pelik jika ada yang bertanya: apa hukum bercinta? Jika ada ustaz yang kata ‘haram’, punca syaitan dan budaya Barat maka sempitlah perasaan golongan hangat bercinta khusus yang masih muda. Mungkin ada yang akan kata dalam dirinya: ‘nanti tua sikit baru boleh aku kuat agama’. Ini kerana susah dia hendak meninggalkan cinta kepada kekasih yang diidami sebagai isteri.

Mungkin ada yang kuat agama terlajak akan berkata: “Kahwin teruslah. Cinta hanya lepas kahwin”. Tapi, si anak muda ini belum bekerja, belum mampu menyediakan belanja sebagai suami. Jika meminang pun, tentu bapa pasangan membantah. Hanya yang ada setakat ini ‘cinta’. Sama juga yang sedang bertunang belum nikah sebab hendak selesaikan urusan belajar ataupun selain. Dalam tempoh itu mereka bercinta pastinya. Berutus surat, email dan sms. Isinya menggambarkan cinta. Jika bercinta haram melainkan setelah kahwin, maka tentu mereka semua hambar.

Jatuh Cinta
Jika kita teliti nas-nas Islam, tiada dalil yang Allah dan RasulNYA mengharamkan mencintai seseorang yang ingin kita jadikan pasangan hidup. Bahkan al-Quran mengiktiraf cinta tersebut. Ini kerana jatuh cinta antara jantina yang berbeza adalah fitrah manusia. Ia bukan diada-adakan. Ia arus yang mengalir dalam jiwa tanpa boleh dihalang. Lihat firman Allah mengenai lelaki yang jatuh cinta kepada janda yang masih dalam edah kematian suami: (maksudnya)

“dan tidak ada salahnya bagi kamu tentang apa yang kamu bayangkan (secara sindiran) untuk meminang perempuan (yang dalam edah kematian suami), atau tentang kamu menyimpan dalam diri (keinginan berkahwin dengan mereka). Allah mengetahui bahawa kamu akan mengingati mereka, (yang demikian itu tidaklah salah), akan tetapi janganlah kamu membuat janji dengan mereka dalam sulit, selain dari menyebutkan kata-kata (secara sindiran) yang sopan. dan janganlah kamu menetapkan dengan bersungguh-sungguh (hendak melakukan) akad nikah sebelum habis edah yang ditetapkan itu. dan ketahuilah sesungguhnya Allah mengetahui apa yang ada dalam dada kamu, maka beringat-ingatlah, sesungguhnya Allah Maha Pengampun, lagi Maha Penyabar”. (Surah al-Baqarah: 235)

Ayat di atas membicara larangan meminang wanita dalam edah kematian suami sebelum tamat edahnya. Ini kerana hukum edah mempunyai banyak maslahah termasuk membabitkan perasaan keluarga bekas suami. Namun Allah tetap tidak melarang sindiran yang mempunyai maksud ingin meminang, juga tidak salah keinginan yang tersimpan dan perasaan yang selalu teringatkannya. Itu semua tanda ‘jatuh cinta’. Cumanya, Allah memerintahkan agar mengikut peraturan yang ditetapkan.

Rayuan Cinta
Bahkan Nabi s.a.w pernah bersimpati dengan Mughith bekas suami Barirah yang masih mencintai isterinya itu. Tangisan dan rayuan cintanya mendapat simpati Nabi s.a.w. Dalam riwayat al-Bukhari daripada ‘Abdullah bin ‘Abbas, katanya:
“Bahawa suami Barirah adalah seorang hamba bernama Mughith. Aku seakan masih terbayang dia mengikuti Barirah dari belakang serta menangis sehingga airmatanya mengalir atas janggutnya. Nabi s.a.w berkata kepada ‘Abbas: “Wahai ‘Abbas, tidakkah kau hairan melihat cintanya Mughith kepada Barirah dan bencinya Barirah kepada Mughith?”. Lalu Nabi s.a.w berkata (kepada Barirah): “Tidak mahukah jika engkau kembali kepadanya”. Barirah berkata: “Apakah engkau memerintahkanku?”. Nabi s.a.w bersabda: “Aku hanya mencadangkan”. Kata Barirah: “Aku tidak memerlukan dia”.

Nabi s.a.w tidak melarang Mughith membuat rayuan cinta, bahkan bersimpati dan cuba memujuk Barirah. Namun Barirah enggan, maka tiada paksaan dalam cinta. Apakah kita pula menghalang puisi dan lagu cinta yang beradab yang ditujukan kepada seseorang kerana ingin memperisterikannya?

Dua Kekasih
Nabi s.a.w tidak pernah membantah orang bercinta, sebaliknya cuba memastikan pasangan yang bercinta berakhir dengan perkahwinan. Seorang gadis yatim dipinang oleh dua orang lelaki. Seorang miskin dan seorang lagi kaya. Si gadis memilih yang miskin sedangkan penjaganya memilih yang kaya. Apabila hal ini diberitahu kepada Nabi s.a.w, baginda bersabda:
“Aku tidak melihat (penawar) untuk dua orang yang bercinta seperti nikah” (riwayat al-Baihaqi dan Ibn Majah, sahih).
Kata al-Imam al-Munawi (meninggal) mengulas hadis ini:
“Maksudnya ubat paling berkesan yang dapat merawati kerinduan ialah nikah. Ia adalah penawar yang tiada gantiannya jika ada jalan untuk mendapatkannya” (al-Taisir bi Syarh al-Jami’ al-Saghir, 2/584, Riyadh: Maktab al-Imam al-Syaifii’).



Justeru itu, Nabi s.a.w memberikan pilihan untuk isteri memutuskan perkahwinan yang berlaku atas perasaan benci.
“Seorang gadis dara datang kepada Nabi s.a.w memberitahu bahawa bapanya mengahwinkannya sedangkan dia tidak suka. Maka, Nabi s.a.w memberikan pilihan kepadanya (sama ada untuk meneruskan atau menolaknya) (Riwayat Abu Daud dan Ibn Majah , dinilai sahih oleh al-Albani).

Haram
Menyimpan rasa cinta antara lelaki dan perempuan tidaklah dilarang dalam agama ini. Di samping ia boleh berlaku di luar kawalan insan, ia adalah fitrah antara lelaki dan perempuan. Ia tidak songsang. Melafazkan rasa cinta seperti Mughith ungkapkan kepada Barirah juga tidak dilarang. Bercinta seperti gadis yatim itu juga tidak dilarang. Puisi dan lagu cinta yang sopan juga tidak dilarang. Jadi apa yang dilarang?

Hanya yang dilarang adalah perbuatan zina. Kedua, -walaupun dosanya tidak seperti zina- perbuatan yang mendekati zina. Adapun bercinta yang masih mempunyai jarak antara antara lelaki dan wanita adalah fitrah insaniah. Menghalang fitrah itu boleh memberikan kesan yang buruk dalam jiwa manusia. Inilah juga yang boleh membawa kecenderungan seks sejenis kerana fitrah asal telah disekat. Jika itu berkembang dalam diri seseorang ia menjadi penyakit yang memusnahkan fitrah asalnya.

Islam tidak sempit. Ia tidak menghalang fitrah. Cinta yang membawa kepada perkahwinan adalah satu kebaikan. Jadi, jangan kata Islam mengharamkan perasaan cinta antara lelaki dan wanita. Katakanlah Islam mengharamkan zina dan mendekati zina!

DR MAZA

Halwa Jiwa

December 21, 2011

As reminders~ :D

November 21, 2011




“And I (Allahcreated not the jinns and humans, except they should worship Me (Alone).” (Adh-Dhariyat: 56)


 As evident in the Holy Quran, the sole purpose of everyone's existence is to worship his lord, which in other words is to thank Allah for making us something(giving us a form) and giving us the experience of this life, without his thought we would be absolutely nothing and without any existence. Allah is the creator, the beneficent, the merciful. It is indeed because of him that we are what we are. We should never forget that everything is from him only, he gave us existence and gave us small minds which do independent thinking. If he wanted he could have simply directed our minds towards him so that everyone would have worshiped him. Then there would not have been any independence, there would have not been any right or wrong. Humans will be like what angels are, they have their thinking set only in one direction. 


Allah(SWT) preferred humans and gave them thought to decide right or wrong. Even though everything starts from him and in the end has to return to him, he has given this life as a temporary resting place and to be independent by making our own decisions. Satan instills evil thoughts and beguiles one away from the straight path. If it is not for the mercy of Allah every human sole will be tempted by the cursed Satan. Allah(SWT) saves humans be it a muslim or a modest non-muslim not thinking of any harm to others. In the hereafter, only the one's submitted to Allah's oneness will be asked to move to Paradise, anyone ascribing partners to him shall have no friends or helper. Remember, we don't even have the control of our very next breath. Everything is dependent on Allah.

There are a lot of things that we are dependent on, our death depends on any of the following; no air for 2 mins, no food for 10 days, no sleep for 7 days, no water for 3 days, exposure to raw sun or extreme cold and a lot many things. We see that we are helpless and depend on many aspects to survive. Allah (SWT) has created us and given us a small organ which differentiates us from the rest, the brain. He has given us the power to decide, the power to survive. A clever person is the one who will question his existence, for we are not here to just enjoy.  He searches for answers and  then finally  he does what is better for him in the future. This world is the testing for the  hereafter. Where we have to permanently stay.  Our deeds & sins will come before us. The Almighty Allah has given us that small brain & made everyone unique. If it was for him, it is very simple that he would let everyone follow the right path. But with this unique thing he has given us the decision making strength & hence the testing as to who is the better believer in his faith. 

From the ancient history, people have searched for the ultimate lord. They thought the sun to be the god & worshiped it, then the moon, the rivers, the land, fire and finally created idols. The search for the man has never ended. It is for the fact that human as such knows that there is that supreme power, which is the creator, the sustainer & who is the Almighty. For it is not simple to have millions of cells, thousands of blood vessels, infinite DNA's & many organs to work in co-ordination. Some one has put them into work. For every living creature ranging from humans, animals, fish, birds, insects, worms & many others, the life form is different. And still people differ. It is just like humans have various appearances, the may be dark, short, fat & what not, we have divided each other into different sects, different communities, countries & have raced to show our superiority over the others like in a football match. But life is not a game, it cannot be gambled. It is 'YOU' who is an individual & will be answerable at the end once you stand in front of God. 



Then we will say, we followed this because our fathers followed this, or our forefathers did or these saints influenced us to do this. Now is where that special organ comes into play, the brain. Just because you were born to a particular community would you worship what they worship? Whom are you pleasing? If your parents were ignorant & had no knowledge, would you still prefer to continue doing the same? And at that time, when your fathers or forefathers will be present in front of the God, they will have the same answer. Allah has given you brain to think. There are a million thing, people have adopted as Gods, if you were to be born in one part of the world, you'd follow what they believe. If you were to born in another part of the world, you were bound to be following what they believed. 

From the start of the world till date, there are a 1000 religions followed. From worshiping the planets to the cow, people still teach their children to do the same. You have that unique organ, question your self. Get to the answers which are most pleasing to you, not because some one preached you those. God helps them who help themselves. In your search for answers, you will be surely guided by the Almighty. Allah (SWT) has sent Messengers from amongst you to every community. For him, it is like a cake walk to take the entire generation back & replace it with the new believing one's. This has happened in the past & historians have no answers to the extinction of those civilizations. From drowning to burning of entire civilizations, have left many to wonder on the supreme existence of omnipotent Allah. 

For every generation, there was a messenger sent. People dis-regarded him & continued to follow what their father did. Some believed in them & became the righteous one's. You may see that even if a firm believer id dying at an early stage, he is happy to meet his God, Allah. For the rest, they cry out as they want the materialistic world. At that moment, everything they have reaped in the past has come alive. He is all set to go to his lord & pay the due of his sins or deeds. And then he requests, the almighty to grant him some more time in the world so that he can do some good works and be of the righteous. And hence, he is afraid at the time when death is calling. Noticeably, almost all the people who have experienced close calls have reverted back to the religion & given the materialistic world out of their life in charity. How can our self let us worship gods made by us, we laugh at the illiterate people or villagers who have weird believes. And God, laughs at us for the same. Worshiping humans, animals or idols would not reap any good, for they themselves have no power on them. 

The renowned researchers, religious scientists have found Islam to be the most logical religion & the one with most reasoning of all the religions of the world. It is known that from the start till date Islam has been one where as there are many other religions who believe in a part or some parts of this religion and consider them as a separate religion. For no one is asking for any fee, it is your belief which will reflect in the life of the hereafter. It is you who is thinking for himself, for your betterment, for your future. The ultimate resting place. Their is nothing on this earth to be worshiped of, there are many other earths floating around in the universe. All believe in one God, Allah, the Supreme, the Omnipotent with that small organ, brain. Quran is able to answer questions which the contemporary scholars can't, Islam is the fastest growing religion in the world. Think & you have the guidance, the answer. The question is 'YOU'.



"Those who follow the Messenger, the unlettered prophet, whom they find written in what they have of the Torah and the Gospel, who enjoins upon them what is right and forbids them what is wrong and makes lawful for them the good things and prohibits for them the evil and relieves them of their burden and the shackles which were upon them. So they who have believed in him, honored him, supported him and followed the light which was sent down with him - it is those who will be the successful. " Al-A'raf:157


islamworld
a story of an old woman and the prophet Muhammad SAW~